Forward Thinking

Finally. Today. This weekend. Right now. I’m excited. I’m actually looking forward to something. I’m not just trudging through life, another Sunday, another sleepless night worrying over things that will remain unresolved tomorrow too; no point in worrying about those things. I’m actually smiling to myself, a lot! I’m in a good place mentally. Right now, I can’t wait for what tomorrow, next week, September, has in store for me. Right now, I’m not that closet depressant; I’m the girl who has no reason to lie about staying in my pajamas the entire weekend because I couldn’t bear to interact with my mom, my dogs, my kids. I don’t have to pretend I didn’t shut the world out while pretending to be sleeping. I actually smiled this weekend. A lot. And because of that, I am manic. All the what ifs, possibilities, a new life ahead. I can hardly believe it myself. My smile, the one that crinkles the corners of my eyes, naturally parts my lips, causes my eyebrows to change direction, is what will allow me to face the day and all the perkiness of my workplace with genuine happiness and enthusiasm. I forgot how much I missed this.  Having something to look forward to, counting down the days, because there’s something to actually count. Finally.