At moments I have egocentric ideas that I love you enough intensely and strongly enough to hold us together; though we’re separated for so much of the time. I am torn and harried by your absence, and driven by the loneliness without you. Continually burned by the physical need for you. But at the same time, you are my warmth and my energy and the goodness of the world to me. I will shamelessly do whatever I can to keep you loving me. Sometimes when I’m most alone I fear that the memory plays me false and it cannot have been as intense and lovely as I think, but then certain overpowering images of you… of your face bending toward mine…of your body turned to me, reassure me that it was real and it will be again. My darling I love you. It’s amazing how much.
I know that what we have together is by every moral standard wrong, and yet I find that I can never give you up. You say that you’re worried that there’s not enough that you can give me, but I’m not asking for very much. Just this… to be with you sometimes.
Nothing and no one can take from me what we found together. Together we’re more than the sum of our parts. Can I sacrifice this even through my own best interests? Not if I love you, because indeed, I do love you.
I want you now for my own and forever. Sometimes it’s right to do the wrong thing.